i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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