Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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