I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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