I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
