ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
