do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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