problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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