I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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