I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
