roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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