Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
