i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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