i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
