I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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