i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You were trust falling into bushes
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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