Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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