mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
