My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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