i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
