This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
