Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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