my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
