He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Two words: blizzard sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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