how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
