I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
