so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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