yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude