puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.