allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.