I just made out with a guy for $7.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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