plz talk dirty to me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
