found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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