just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
someone owes me an orgasm
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
