you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
