I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it because I queefed?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize