good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
