Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize