Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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