She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
