Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
