I love black thongs
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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