Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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