plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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