worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i would punch a child for taco bell
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
