:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
