You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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