i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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