Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
