We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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