OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize