I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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