WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
