Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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