Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
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