She's JV to your varsity
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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