just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
kristin has been a bad kristin
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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