this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
