connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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