Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize