is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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