I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
