Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize