Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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