I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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