Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Randomize
